"EXHIBIT THIS!"

INT. CAVE - NIGHT

Flickering firelight dances on the cave walls.  The stone archway perfectly frames the full moon. 

Black storm clouds race past.  Lightning explodes.  Distant THUNDER echoes.

Inside, an unseen creature GRUNTS softly. 

A small fire CRACKLES and chokes the air with smoke, as the VOICE of NEIL CLIFFORD narrates:

NEIL'S VO

What would you do if your story were so bizarre that . . . if you actually told the truth, no sane person could believe you?

A female LAUGH floats over the distant THUNDER.

NEIL'S VO (CONT'D)

Especially your wife!

The male GRUNTING becomes hesitant, then stops.

NEIL'S VO (CONT'D)

Would you lie to her, if you knew she would absolutely never believe these things happened?

The GRUNTING resumes, more insistently.

NEIL'S VO (CONT'D)

The truth is, I'm the guy who created the most exciting scientific mystery in the history of the world!

The female LAUGH becomes a sensual MOAN.

NEIL'S VO (CONT'D)

And I can't say a thing about it!

The GRUNTING and MOANING speed up.

NEIL'S VO (CONT'D)

I should be a celebrity!  But if I ever did reveal what happened, my reputation would be shot forever - branded as a fraud!

The GRUNTING becomes a LUSTY GROWL, and the MOANS become more intense.

NEIL'S VO (CONT'D)

Especially by my wife!

The GRUNTING and MOANING build to the final climax, and the MOAN becomes a SCREAM of pleasure.

NEIL'S VO (CONT'D)

Anyway, this is where it all began: on a typical stormy night, in a typical family cave - sixty-two thousand years ago.

A gust of wind HOWLS through the cave.  The dense smoke swirls, thinning enough to make the grunting and moaning creatures visible. 

They are NU, a hairy NEANDERTHAL MAN, and MA, a hairy and voluptuous WOMAN.

Nu gently extricates himself from Ma's clinging embrace.  She reluctantly lets go. 

He walks to the cave entrance and relieves his bladder, with the SOUND of piss hitting a puddle.

MATCH SOUND TO:

INT. EXPENSIVELY TILED MODERN BATHROOM - NIGHT

The SOUND continues, and the VOICE of Neil Clifford continues narrating:

NEIL'S VO

You think there's a possibility I could have faked all this?

Neil's hand flushes a fancy toilet.

NEIL'S VO (CONT'D)

You decide.

The toilet water spirals downwards.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CAVE - DAY

NU comes back into his smoky cavern, and squats over a puddle of rain water.

His big bloodshot eyes dominate his warm intelligent face, as he studies his reflection in the puddle. 

He grunts thoughtfully as he traces his facial features with a fingertip, as if drawing them. 

His dog looks on quizzically, with a soft WHINE.

Ma gnaws on a strip of dried meat.  She watches Nu with cat-like intensity, as the icy wind WHISTLES through the cave. 

Nu gestures to Ma urgently.  She stops chewing and stares at him blankly as he points at his face with one hand, while pointing at the big colorful MURAL painted on the cave wall with his other hand.

The mural looks nearly complete.  Many animals are depicted, with people hunting them.  It's arranged in a neat circular motif, like a mandala.

Ma just LAUGHS.  A strong gust catches her loose-fitting animal skin, revealing her sexy body.  Nu sees this and grins, letting out a long lusty GROWL. 

Ma shakes her head and LAUGHS.  She shivers, pulls her clothes tight and throws some wood on the fire, which EXPLODES with sparks and smoke.

Nu approaches her with a grin-and-growl, but she fends him off with a 'you silly thing' GIGGLE, and bats him on the head with a club.

Nu gives up his advances with a subdued GROWL.  Ringo WHINES, and Nu gives the mongrel a commiserating pat.

The THUNDER draws nearer, echoing more intensely inside the cave, startling Nu and Ma. 

The puddle begins to shimmer and vibrate.  Nu and Ma are unsteady on their feet, as an earthquake begins.

Chunks of rock break off the ceiling with a loud CRACK, and fall their Nu's feet. 

The two huddle together in fright until the earthquake ends.

EXT. CAVE - NIGHT

Nu steps outside and ROARS at the moonlit night, to defy the fear in his face.

Two other NEANDERTHAL MEN see him and LAUGH derisively. 

As the two go back to their caves, Nu curls his lip and GROWLS at them, but not loudly enough for them to hear.

INT. CAVE - NIGHT

Nu has a last angry RAGE at the stormy night as he enters the cave.  Ma smirks at him behind his back.

Nu squats by his wall painting, where two burning torches cast a flickering light onto the mural. 

Ma watches him, still smirking.

Nu lifts one of his painting sticks from a bowl of red pigment.  Ever so carefully, he paints an outline on the mural: it is his own face.

None of the other humans in the mural have their faces depicted -- they are more like stick figures.

Ma sucks in her breath, and her face fills with awe as she watches Nu skillfully fill in the details, until it clearly becomes the painter's own likeness.

Ma moves next to Nu, and points back and forth between her eyes and Nu's mural, GRUNTING excitedly. 

But Nu GRUNTS back disagreeably, shaking his head.

Ma becomes more insistent, GRUNTING commandingly, and pointing back and forth between her own blue eyes and the face on the wall.

Nu's shoulders sag.  He SIGHS, and paints the eyes blue like Ma's, instead of bloodshot red like his own.

Ma nods and GRUNTS approvingly. 

Nu shakes his head, sneers and GROWLS. 

His dog WHINES miserably.  Nu's thick hairy hand gives the dog a rough consoling pat.

MATCH DISSOLVE TO:

INT. MODERN ART STUDIO - SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - NIGHT

A not so hairy hand gently pats a WHINING DOG, who looks a lot like Nu's dog, but better groomed.

NEIL CLIFFORD

Don't worry, old buddy, I got it all under control!

RINGO the dog looks unconvinced.

NEIL

Truly - only one painting to go, Mate!

Neil's voice resounds in the enormous interior space.  It's obviously a wealthy artist's studio, with the trappings of success and acclaim everywhere. 

Neil's own paintings hang along the walls.  His bold, freewheeling emotive work would be instantly impressive to anyone's eye. 

NEIL CLIFFORD is a nice looking man in his late thirties or so.  He's on the shaggy side of clean-cut, with a gentle demeanor and warmth in his face.

He could be a hairless version of Nu, without the sloping forehead.

Neil sees Ringo's paw resting on an old photo of Neil as a younger man.  The photo graces the cover of a dusty Time Magazine. 

Neil reaches down and wipes the dust off.  The cover caption reads, "Neil Clifford: Artist, Visionary, Man of the Hour - Where Can He Go From Here?" 

NEIL'S VO

             [cynical]                    Yeah, that's me, a few years back.  Neil Clifford, celebrated artist, man of the hour, cover of Time - the full disaster!

Colorfully paint-splattered, with brush and palette in hand, Neil shuffles past a row of new paintings on the wall.  He scrutinizes each one for flaws.

NEIL'S VO (CONT'D)

I had it all - everything that everybody else wanted!  Do they have any idea how that can hurt a man?

Neil picks up a fine-tipped brush, dips it into a splotch of pigment on his palette, and  touches up a delicate detail on a painting.

NEIL'S VO (CONT'D)

Not to mention the dreaded Curse Of Time Magazine!  I haven't produced a single good thing since that article.

Ringo WHINES.

NEIL

             [to Ringo]                    It's true, it's true.  [points to his row of paintings]  This is all crap, Mate, and you know it!

Ringo BARKS.  Neil pats him reassuringly.

NEIL'S VO

But even so, I am now fortunate enough - or unfortunate enough, I still can't decide - to be offered my own exhibition.  Where?  At New York's most prestigious gallery, of course!

Paint drips off Neil's palette onto his shoe, but he doesn't notice, as he ambles past the paintings.

NEIL'S VO (CONT'D)

So here I am, on the verge of my big superstar come-back . . . only to find I've peaked out!  Nothing left to say, as they say.

Neil arrives at the last painting in the row, a huge blank triptych.  He explains to Ringo:

NEIL

Now we have only one left to create!

They both frown at the floor-to-ceiling 3-part canvas.  It's pristine, untouched by paint.

NEIL'S VO

My grand opening is now only a week away.  Already advertised in all the glossies.  But the centerpiece of the exhibition - the very thing they are promoting -hasn't even been conceived yet, much less painted!

He looks at Ringo.

NEIL

Mate, look at me!  Desperate!  Outta juice, with no excuse!

Ringo MOANS.  Neil SIGHS.

NEIL (CONT'D)

What we need right now is -

The phone RINGS.  Neil ignores it.

NEIL (CONT'D)

. . . one more good idea.  Only one!

The answering machine picks up the call:

ANSWERING MACHINE

          [Neil's voice]                  This is Neil Clifford.  You know what to do. 

       ANSWERING MACHINE (CONT’D)

        [American female VOICE]             Hey Cliffo, this is Kathy from The Guggenheim.  Got your message about postponing your opening.  That's kind of a problem, Sweetie!  We'll have to talk about it -

Neil lunges for the phone.

ANSWERING MACHINE (CONT'D)

- 'cuz we already ran the ads.

Neil picks up just in time to hear the CLICK and DIAL TONE.

NEIL

Damn!

He starts to call her back, then changes his mind and hangs up. 

He explains his wisdom to Ringo:

NEIL (CONT'D)

No!  Never let them know you're desperate!  Let her call me back.

Then he changes his mind again, and starts to DIAL. 

But he re-changes his mind, and SLAMS down the phone.

NEIL (CONT'D)

Damn!

He stares at his drawing table.

NEIL (CONT'D)

Just do it!

He drags himself over to the table, and holds his pen poised above the blank drawing pad. 

But he can only stare blankly at the blank page.

He sneaks a glance at Ringo, who regards Neil with a pitiful look.

NEIL (CONT'D)

Yeah, I know, I know - seize the day, and all that crap.

Neil SIGHS, holding his head in hand, and makes a half-hearted doodle on the page. 

Disgusted, he wads up the paper, and tosses onto a big pile of similar wadded up papers.

NEIL (CONT'D)

My kingdom for an idea!

The mail slot on the door flips open with a sharp CRACK.   A sensuous female mouth calls through:

KALLI CLIFFORD(O.S.)

Hey Babe, how's it goin'?

NEIL

Oh, yeah!  Doin' it now, my love!

KALLI (O.S.)

Gonna make the deadline, Darlin'?

NEIL

Oh yeah!  No worries.

KALLI (O.S.)

Cool!  Want anything?

NEIL

Nope.

KALLI (O.S.)

Not even me?

Neil is silent.

KALLI (O.S.) (CONT'D)

Hey, just kidding!  If you need anything - you know, to make the deadline - well, just whistle.  [Lauren Bacall impersonation] You know how to whistle, don't you?

NEIL

         [Bogart impersonation]          Here's lookin' at you, Kid!

KALLI (O.S.)

Love you, Babe!

The mail flap CLANGS shut, and Kalli's FOOTSTEPS recede.

Neil ruefully sings a line to an old song:

NEIL

"Will you still love me . . .  tomorrow?"

INT. KALLI CLIFFORD'S KITCHEN - NIGHT

Kalli Clifford, Neil's wife, is an attractive woman in her thirties.  She pours coffee for a GINA, an energetic Single Friend With Attitude.

    GINA

Locked out?!­

KALLI

Yeah, that's normal.

GINA

I don't think so!

KALLI

Yeah, I mean, I never see much of him right before an exhibition.  That's just what it takes for him to get it all done in time.

Gina looks cynical.

GINA

I could never marry an artist.  Or a writer.  I want to be the most important thing in my partner's life, not second fiddle to some - sorry!

KALLI

Good luck with that agenda!

GINA

Wow!  Marriage made her cynical already!

KALLI

           [defensive]                      No, we have our good times!  Exciting times!

GINA

Like?

KALLI

Come on, I don't feel like doing this!

GINA

Sorry, I didn't mean -

KALLI

Besides, I get most of my own writing done when he's busy!

GINA

Oh, that's good.

Kalli is silent.

GINA (CONT'D)

Well, at least you never have to wonder what he's getting up to behind those locked doors!

INT. NEIL'S STUDIO - NIGHT

One by one, Neil flips a row of switches. 

One by one huge, powerful spotlights come alive, aimed at the big, blank triptych, which he and Ringo regard with forlorn faces.

NEIL

Discipline, Mate!  It's all about discipline!

Neil gathers himself, then dutifully climbs aboard a tall motorized scaffold.  Ringo dutifully climbs up beside him.

Neil motors the platform half way up the to the high ceiling. 

He starts an electric stirring machine, and pours in some paints. 

Neil and Ringo watch the BUZZING machine hypnotically, as the pigments swirl together and form spiral patterns in the bucket.  They gradually mix to a rich turquoise hue.

NEIL (CONT'D)

The truth is, Mate, I was born too late. . .  Ah, how I long for the olden days, when life was simple.

Neil pulls a small radio out of his shirt pocket.

NEIL (CONT'D)

Now we're talking about the really olden days!  Before they had governments, or even kings . . .  and no deadlines, or art exhibits!  Aaaargh­!

Ringo BARKS.  Neil puts on headphones and picks up his paint brush.

NEIL (CONT'D)

Okay, if I'm gonna take the leap, I'll take it with the blues, Baby!

He switches on his radio.  A muted blast of ELECTRIC GUITAR leaks through the headphones. 

Neil holds his brush poised at the canvas.

MATH CUT TO:

INT. CAVE - NIGHT

Nu holds his brush poised at his mural. 

Suddenly he leaps across the cave in shock, as the blast of an ELECTRIC GUITAR pierces his brain.  The terrifying noise sends him reeling, hands covering his ears.

Ma watches him quizzically, then LAUGHS at him.  She obviously hasn't heard anything.

Nu hears the NOISE again.  He lunges wildly, SCREAMING and clawing at the air. 

Ma LAUGHS wildly, JEERING him for being so afraid of nothing. 

Nu GROWLS at her ferociously, and she stops laughing.

Nu lets out a final blood-chilling SCREAM toward the cave entrance.  Then he sits down by his painting and collects himself.

Three TRIBESMEN show up at the cave entrance, GRUNTING curiously. 

Nu GROWLS at them, but the men just LAUGH at him with obvious disrespect, mimicking Nu's painting motions, with MOCK SCREAMING at the night.  Then they leave.

Nu resumes painting, trying to act unruffled.  Ma pulls funny faces at him behind his back.  The dog curls up beside Nu, giving his master's leg an affectionate lick.

Nu's face is animated with excited thoughts as he evaluates his circular composition.

But soon his reverie is shattered by a THUNDEROUS lightning strike right outside the cave.  The approaching storm has finally arrived with full force. 

Nu catches a glimpse of TRIBESMEN running for their caves, strobe-lit by the lightning.

Suddenly a curtain of rain shrouds Nu's cave entrance. 

A merciless gust of wind HOWLS through, casting swirls of wet dirt and ash all over Nu and his painting.

The horrified Nu stands in front of the mural and spreads his arms and legs, COUGHING and CHOKING, trying in vain to shield his work from nature's onslaught. 

Ma gathers a Mammoth skin and holds it over part of the mural, but with little effect.

Half blinded, Nu stumbles into his bowls of pigment, splattering himself with the multicolored goo.  This in turn catches the flying dirt and ash, leaving Nu looking a desperately clownish figure, as he flails around the cave trying to save his masterpiece.

Another earthquake hits - much stronger than the last. 

Cracks appear in the mural wall, dividing it into pieces like a jigsaw puzzle.

Blinding, choking clouds of dirt and ash almost obscure Nu and Ma . . .  and then they are deafened by the SOUNDS of the cave collapsing on them.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. EXCAVATION ENTRANCE - ANTWERP, BELGIUM - DAY

The din of JACKHAMMERS stops.  Swirling clouds of dust settle to reveal a group of MEN in hard hats inside the entrance to an underground excavation.  SUPER: "Antwerp, Belgium."

The area is roped off by POLICE like a crime scene.  VIP's, MEDIA CREWS and ONLOOKERS peer into the shadows, trying to get a glimpse of the action.

Inside the excavation, a lamp on a WORKER'S hard hat throws a spotlight onto the object in his hands: the skull of a Neanderthal man. 

The sloped forehead has what's obviously a post bronze-age metal arrowhead embedded in it, which is theoretically impossible.

A blustery SCIENTIST pushes his way through the Police line.  On his jacket is a photo-ID that says, 'Dr V Spavoda, Assistant Curator, Musee Belgique.'

SPAVODA

        [Hungarian accent]                             Excuse me!  Let me through!  I am a scientist, ya!

He shows the police his ID, and they let him through.

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

Get those machines out of here!  This is now an archaeological dig!

He rushes up to the Worker holding the skull:

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

Excuse me!  I am from the National Museum, ya!

Spavoda takes the skull from the Worker's hands.

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

You see, these artifacts must only be handled by experts!

Spavoda examines the skull, and sees the arrowhead.

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

Did you put this here?!

WORKER

No, Sir!  That's how I found it!

SPAVODA

Nonsense!  This is impossible, ya!

Spavoda points and shouts to the Police:

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

Let that man through - I need a photographer!

The Police let a NEWS PHOTOGRAPHER past the barrier. 

Spavoda quickly primps for the camera. 

The Worker sidles up to Spavoda, expecting to be in the picture, but Spavoda elbows him out. 

The photographer snaps Spavoda holding the skull.

MATCH DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BELGIAN NATIONAL MUSEUM - DAY

The photo is on the cover of Time Magazine.  The caption reads, "Double Mystery of the Millennium: Dr Victor Spavoda at the Antwerp Find."

NEIL'S VO

Yup, the good old Hungarian Doctor also caught the Curse Of Time Magazine.  He couldn't possibly know that this would be the beginning of his end, any more than I could have known that I would soon be a Neanderthal celebrity!

Tilt up from the magazine to a TV set in the Museum, which shows a fast MONTAGE of news clips and vox pops:

NEWS PRESENTER:

The so-called Antwerp Find is forcing human history to be re-written, and the scientific community is in total chaos!

CURRENT AFFAIRS PRESENTER-1:

Sixty thousand years ago an entire Neanderthal village was buried by an earthquake, and preserved, in pieces, until now!

SCIENTIST

It's a profound mystery, in two parts.  Impossibly, a post-Bronze Age arrowhead was embedded in one of the Neanderthal skulls! 

ART CURATOR

And they found an astoundingly sophisticated work of art, ­a mural which pre-dates the earliest known cave paintings by thousands of years!

CURRENT AFFAIRS PRESENTER-2:

This has become the most celebrated challenge to ever hit the scientific community: to put the mural pieces back together, and unlock the mystery of our oldest known work of art!

CURRENT AFFAIRS PRESENTER-1:

John, apparently the team of scientists is led by a Dr Victor Spavoda, of the Belgian National Museum.

CURRENT AFFAIRS PRESENTER-2:

That's right.  Say, Jane, had anyone ever heard of this Doctor Spavoda before?

NEWS PRESENTER 2:

No, John, I don't think so.  But apparently he was the first scientist to arrive at the find.

Spavoda switches off the TV and turns away from it, disgruntled.

SPAVODA

Hmmph!  I will soon have the whole world knowing my name, ya!

He is in a back room of the Belgian National Museum, where a TEAM of international scientists cleans, wraps and packs in shipping cases a multitude of artifacts from the Antwerp Find. 

Doctor Victor Spavoda supervises the proceedings.

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

Careful, ya!  You must use more padding!

A timid CLERK approaches Spavoda.  His photo-ID tag says, "Replications Dept." 

The Clerk holds a Neanderthal skull, which looks exactly like the one on Spavoda's bench -- arrowhead and all.

CLERK

Excuse me, Doctor ­um -

SPAVODA

Spavoda, you idiot!  Spavoda, Spavoda, Spavoda!

CLERK

Yes, Doctor S-s-sporvada.

A SHADOWY FIGURE sneaks up in the background and watches them, unseen.

CLERK (CONT'D)

Here is the replicated skull and arrowhead.

SPAVODA

Ya, good.

CLERK

            [proudly]                 You'll have to be careful to not get them mixed up - it's hard to tell mine from the original!

SPAVODA

Ya, that is the point of replicating!

Spavoda grabs the skull and almost drops it. 

He looks around sheepishly to see if any of his colleagues have noticed the fumble.  They all did, but they quickly turn away.

Spavoda puts the original skull into a hi-tech shipping case on his bench, explaining to the Clerk:

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

You see?  The original goes to Australia, ya?

He then puts the replicated skull into his own briefcase.

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

And the replica stays here with me, ya.

Spavoda closes the lid on the shipping case, revealing the address label: "TO SIR ROY PEERLESS, FOUNDATION FOR PRESERVATION OF HUMAN CULTURE, SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA."

CLERK

Gee, I wonder why we're exporting our own national treasure!

SPAVODA

Because the richest man in the world bought it, ya!

Spavoda SLAPS a folded newspaper down on the bench, with the front page headline reading "World's Richest Man Buys Neanderthal Artifacts for Australia."

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

Ya, we're lucky - Sir Roy Peerless could have bought Belgium, if he wanted it!  Now, go away.

The Clerk leaves. 

The Shadowy Figure watches without being seen, as Spavoda picks up the original skull from the shipping case and cradles it fondly.

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

You made me famous, you, you wonderful little man!

The Shadowy Figure pulls out his cell phone and slinks out of sight to dial it.

SHADOWY FIGURE

Mr Sinns, it's me.  He's got the skull right here . . . Yes, Sir, will do.

SPAVODA

So now little man, can you please make me rich, ya?

Spavoda looks around furtively.  No one is watching.

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

One must seize the day, ya!

Spavoda stealthily swaps the original skull with the replica, now putting the original into his own briefcase. 

But as he places the replica skull into the shipping case now bound for Sydney, he clumsily BANGS it, breaking a little chip off the jaw bone.

Spavoda sucks in his breath, horrified.  He checks if anyone has seen him.  They haven't - not even the Shadowy Figure, who has disappeared.

Spavoda strikes a thoughtful pose for all to see.  He slyly sneaks the chip into his pocket, while stroking his jaw as if pondering a deep scientific issue.

MATH CUT TO:

INT. CAVE - DAY

Nu's hand strokes his hairy jaw line, as he stares at his mural.  SUPER: "One Week Before The Earthquake."

The mural is now far less complete than the last time we saw it, indicating that we are further back in time than the previous cave scene.  The mural is just starting to take shape, with a few animal and hunting images.

Ma fishes around in the open flames of the cave fire.  She finds a fragment of meat that had fallen into the fire, and she chews it ravenously. 

She finds another one, and puts it beside Nu.  Nu ignores the food, being too absorbed in his work, so Ma devours the piece. 

Nu makes a very careful brush stroke, and it becomes the outline of a Mammoth.

Ma sits down beside him and  puts her hand on his leg.  Nu's face spreads into a smile.  He eyes off Ma's sexy body. 

She smiles at him, puts his hunting club in his hand, and pushes him toward the cave entrance.

Nu's face darkens.  He stares glumly at the world outside the cave entrance.

MATCH DISSOLVE TO:

INT. NEIL'S STUDIO - DAY

High up on the scaffold, Neil stares glumly at the triptych. 

It's now dubiously graced by one big blue-green line, painted rather indifferently.

NEIL

I ought to just tell them, exhibit this, you bunch of -

INT. KALLI CLIFFORD'S KITCHEN - DAY

GINA

What is it between you two, anyway?  Why Neil?

KALLI

I dunno, I just love him!  You can't explain that!

GINA

Yes you can.

KALLI

I guess . . . genius is a very attractive quality to me.

INT. NEIL'S STUDIO - DAY

Ringo BARKS and paws a can of yellow paint.

NEIL

Oh, you want yellow?  Okay.

Neil opens the can of paint and dips in a big house-painting brush.  He sticks the brush handle into Ringo's mouth.

NEIL (CONT'D)

Okay, Mate, go for it!  Seize the day!  Go on!  Show me!

Ringo turns away, making an accidental yellow splash on the canvas.  He drops the brush and WHINES miserably.

INT. MUSEUM - DAY

Spavoda WHINES in frustration as he struggles to uncork a bottle of champagne with his weak hands.

A lab-coated ASSISTANT approaches Spavoda:

ASSISTANT-1

Excuse me, Doctor, all the mural fragments are ready for shipping.

SPAVODA

Okay, take the skull, too, ya.  And open this bottle for me.

Spavoda starts to close the lid on the shipping case, when a second ASSISTANT arrives:

ASSISTANT-2

Excuse me, Doctor uh -

SPAVODA

Spavoda!  Doctor Spavoda!

ASSISTANT-2

There's a phone call for you, Sir.

The Assistant walks Spavoda to the telephone.  The skull case is left open. 

The first Assistant opens the bottle and exits.

SPAVODA

          [on the phone] Ya, hallo.  . .  Oh, Sir Roy!  It is an honor, Sir! . . .  Ya, wherever the Antwerp Collection goes, so will Doctor Victor Spavoda go - even to Austria, ya! . . . I  Mean Australia, of course!  . . . Oh, thank you, Sir Roy!

Spavoda hangs up and returns to his bench with a gleeful look.

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

Ha ha ha!  Who is the Head Curator now, ya?

Spavoda grabs the champagne roughly, and sprays the shipping case.  He wipes off the case clumsily, and reaches for the closed lid.

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

Ya, you will make me rich, you little -

His glee turns to horror when he lifts the lid and sees that the case is empty.  Inside is a note saying, "Eat your heart out, Sir Roy!"

Spavoda panics.  He sees the Assistant coming back to collect the shipping case.  Spavoda thinks fast, and gets sweaty.

He quickly grabs the original skull from his own briefcase and stuffs it into the shipping case bound for Australia.  He turns the lock, and the case emits a 'hiss' as it vacuum seals itself.

Spavoda hands the case to the Assistant, who carries it away. 

The sweaty Doctor wrings his hands as he watches the real skull being taken from him.

He makes sure no one is watching, as he inserts a screwdriver into the lock on his empty briefcase, and breaks it.

SPAVODA (CONT'D)

Nobody's going to accuse me of stealing the replica, ya!

INT. LIMOUSINE - DAY

A black-gloved hand SNAPS open the lock on a steel case.  It is the Shadowy Figure from the Museum. 

He removes the replicated Neanderthal skull from the case and hands it to TWO THUGS in the front of the limo. 

The First Thug dials a cell phone.

THUG-1

Mr Sinns, it's me, Sir.  We got it. . . It looks like the real thing. . .  Yes, Sir, we'll get it authenticated right away, Sir.

INT. NEIL'S STUDIO - DAY

Neil and Ringo are still up on the scaffold.  Ringo still has the yellow paint brush in his mouth, and now a yellow splotch on the canvas compliments Neil's turquoise line.

NEIL

Remarkable!  Very much like that young German painter they're raving about!  Looks authentic, Mate!

Neil hands Ringo another color on a brush.

NEIL (CONT'D)

Go for it!

[full script available on request]