Welcome to this week’s topic for discussion, “Why Celibacy?”, using the cartoon below as the trigger for comments. Your opinions are invited! This blog is updated every Sunday night.
Get Dharma’s Cartoon e-Book at www.DharmaTheCatCartoons.com
DHARMA THE CAT’S COMMENT
“It’s appropriate to maintain a balance between spiritual pursuit and worldly responsibilities. But it’s also helpful to know when your kidding yourself! Bodhi’s “method” is neither a spiritual pursuit nor a responsibility.”
AUTHOR’S TAKE by David Lourie
Is there any benefit for lay people who are on a spiritual path to practice celibacy, or is it just for monks? Can any harm come from ignoring such a strong natural desire?
The choice comes easily for a typical Buddhist or Catholic monk, because they have no choice in the matter – they are required to do it.
The Catholic monks have a centuries-old tradition of celibacy which is now enforced by the Church hierarchy. And the Buddhist practice of celibacy has an even older tradition, based on the precept that one shall not engage in inappropriate sex, meaning sex which is harmful to anyone in any way.
But we lay practitioners do have a choice in the matter, and there is a long history of debate about this issue among us, as well as among the mendicants of many religions.
Over the years, the main argument against celibacy is that it unnaturally denies the ‘human’ side of our nature that God (or whatever) created, and thus celibacy should not be considered a ‘virtue’ for lay people, even if they are on a spiritual path.
Buddhist monks agree with the idea that the sex drive is a natural part of the human makeup. However, they go on to point out that our basic nature is a very good thing to get beyond and transcend, according to their spiritual values. Not only that, but the Buddha’s second of four fundamental truths states that all our suffering is rooted in those perfectly natural desires like the sex drive. Thus to a Buddhist, natural desire is precisely the thing to get beyond, as one progresses along the spiritual path.
And Catholic monks generally agree with the Buddhists, that attachment to sexual desire is a major hindrance to spiritual progress. So there seems to be a strong consensus among these deeply religious mendicants.
Two years ago, at an inter-faith gathering of Buddhist and Catholic monks in Northern California, the subject of celibacy was discussed in depth by those practicing it for religious reasons.
“Raging desire takes away choice and freedom,” summed up the Buddhist Rev Kusala Bhikshu. “The senses must be controlled in order to be free.”
The Catholic monks pointed out how monastic life demands a profound understanding and acceptance of solitude. “Celibacy is a tool,” said Brother Gregory Perron from St. Procopius monastery in Indiana, “a skilful means, like intentional simplicity of life, by which our heart is burrowed out and the core of our being laid bare. By embracing it, the monk accepts the aloneness that characterizes every human being.”
Lay practitioners and religious householders might not be prepared to take on this rigorous point of view, held mainly by mendicants who have renounced their worldly possessions and issues.
Some lay practitioners point out that for them, suppressing a natural desire can also become a hindrance, or distraction to spiritual practice.
The Catholic and Buddhist mendicants actually agree with that idea, that suppression can be harmful. But they describe their approach to celibacy as being different to suppression, They say it’s a skilful re-directing of those mundane feelings into new, more elevated directions – such as spiritual devotion, good works and a more intimate relationship with their Creator.
Psychologists might call this method ‘sublimation,’ as opposed to suppression.
The Buddhist method of achieving celibacy without harm also avoids suppression. Their way is to accept and observe any sexual feelings that arise, without being drawn in, and without judgement or remorse. The process is simply to watch these thoughts and feelings come and go, with intelligent reflection on the mind’s activity, without repressing them, and without remaining attached to them.
It’s a matter of just letting go, and watching desire pass through your mind, remaining mindful that the more you ‘resist’ or suppress it, the stronger it becomes.
In their engaged dialogue, both the Buddhist and Christian monks agreed that celibacy is essential to any seriously dedicated follower of a spiritual path, regardless of whether they be lay or ordained. For lay people, Mahatma Ghandi us a prime example of a married householder who practiced “chastity” within his marriage, to remain focussed on his spiritual path.
Many Catholic monks, by remaining celibate, manage to re-direct their desires into a more loving relationship with God – or as some would say, with Jesus. They see celibacy in a positive light, as being an expression of ‘mature sexuality.’
They say that for religious practice, right thought is as important as right behaviour, so they re-direct all their thoughts of sex into thoughts of God or Jesus.
What do you think – would celibacy keep your own spiritual practice on course better, or would it only make things more difficult?
– David Lourie
